Day 10 of detox and who knows how many more to go....I've taken anti-depressants for about 3ish years. It doesn't matter what the dosage is, the longer you've been taking medications the harder it is to take your body off of them. I went the crazy person route and decided to go off cold turkey. Not the smartest thing but here we go.
This book set the ground work for my detox. James Gordon shares my belief that medications should be the last resort when treating patients experiencing depression and anxiety. I told my doctor that if I started medications, it had to be a short term thing for me. I was nervous about becoming too dependent on medications. I was right. Going one day without my medications would send me into a downward spiral of depression and scary thoughts. This was terrifying for me. These pills determined if my head was in a safe space or not. One day without them sent me down a scary path that I didn't have control over. When I talked to my doctor, he suggesting just switching to another pill that worked over a longer period of time. Every time that I suggested easing off the pills, he pointed out that I was just starting school, getting married, about to buy a home, starting my career, or it was about to be winter so "we should wait until a better time". After two years of this, I'm officially taking detox into my own hands. The cold turkey way!!
Coming off of the pills has been an uphill climb in 10 feet of snow enduring 100 degree temperatures with a raging sand storm, but not in the way that I had thought it would. My pre detox prediction was that my emotions would be all over the place, suicidal thoughts would invade my brain, and I would completely lose all sense of hope or belonging. None of this has happened. I have been lucky enough to still have my emotional in check thanks to "Unstuck".
Parker and I have started doing yoga together, we exercise even on days that we don't want to, I got a new job that sparks a lot less anxiety, and journaling has become part of my morning routine. Reading "Unstuck" prepared me with ideas and tools to handle the emotional drama of anti-depressant withdrawal. It's the physical symptoms that have taken over without any warning. On day 3 of detox, a huge migraine decided it wanted to be my first symptom. Usually it sits at about a 6 on the pain scale. When I wake up, it's usually an 8. Throughout the day it will jump up and ease down. By 3:00 it's usually at it's peak of an 8 or 9. There is no amount of Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Motrin, or Advil that will come close to calming down this beast.
The two saving graces that I have found are 1. Needling- Holy smokes. My brother-in-law sticks a couple of needles at the base of my skull and plugs me into electricity for 15 minutes. This gets me feeling great....for a few hours until a rebound migraine comes in. 2. Past Tense essential oil. Parker say's it's witchcraft but it truly is the only thing that I can do on my own that helps. Too bad I can't have smelly things on my skin when I'm at work - too much risk of a patient reacting to it.
